Cosette Ruth Lionberger was born on 11/09/13 at 9:13 pm. She was 5lb 7oz. And she was (and is) the most beautiful little girl in the world. I know everyone says that about their niece or nephew. Son or daughter. Grandchild. But it’s true. It’s another member of the family being welcomed in. It’s a chance to marvel at the wonder of life. I’m not sure if it’s the utter dependency. The innocence. Or the fact that a human being who didn’t exist before is now part of the world. Whatever it is. Her birth has become a catalyst in my life.
We were all excited for her to be born. The first child of the family. I’m going to be an uncle. She’s going to be an aunt. My sister’s going to be a mom. It’s unlike any other feeling. We were all so proud. So entranced. So enthralled. Yes, we were that family who flooded feeds because we wanted the whole world to know. Annoying? Maybe. But when it’s your family you don’t think twice. And so from the first picture I saw of her. To the hundreds that have since followed. My heart still melts when I see her face.
What I wasn’t expecting (tho not surprised) was what happened the first time I held her. I fell in love. Without a shadow of a doubt. This little bundle of joy could’ve made me move to St. Louis in an instant. And trust me, I’ve already toyed with the idea. And each time I see a picture of her or get to hold her. I experience unconditional love. This is what Cosette has taught me. She is totally dependent. She has little ability to communicate. And she isn’t able to give in return. (Unless you count the puke she occasionally graces you with).
There is no room for selfishness when I’m with her. I’m not worried about what she can give me. Whether or not she can make me happy. There is no “I” because it’s all about her. And I can’t help but think this is how all relationships were designed to be. Selfless. Perhaps this is why I marvel at babies so much. It isn’t the innocence in them that I see, but the potential of innocence in me. It’s not what I get out of the experience. It’s the beauty of being able to solely give.
One last thought before I go. I can’t help but believe that this is what God meant when he said, love as I have first loved you. His love has no conditions. Just as my love for Cosi does not. Even when I am selfish. God still loves me. Hoping that one day I may learn to love a little more like Him. Whether it’s my niece. My family. Or my friends. Each is an opportunity to put others before myself. It’s not an easy thing to do. And God knows most of the time I don’t get it right. But it’s what I believe this life to be about. That I, we, are called to love. Because He first loved us. No matter how difficult it may be. (It’s always easier when it’s a baby though).
Dedicated to Cosette.
mark.eduardo.frykholm 